I'm new here 🇮🇹 | Navigating Italian culture
101 to surviving Italy
One of the biggest mistakes made when visiting Italy; is reacting to what happens in Italy the way you would react in your home country.
The Italian stereotypes are known around the world and they are heavily embedded in the fabric of the Italian culture. There are many things that are a cultural norm in Italy, that are 100% acceptable, that would be frowned upon in North America.
Just to be clear, a lot of what you've heard is outdated, a lot of what you've heard is regional and a lot of what you've heard is true!
Like in the states, there are Italian regions that connect more with stereotypes, whether good or bad . Along with that there are many things that are specific to Italy, and other European countries, that no one talks about. Mainly because no one thinks about it.
Certain things apply across the country and you WILL experience them. In this short guide I will share the most common and misunderstood cultural differences you will have happen while in Italy.
Staring 👀
Italians stare.
It has to be one of the most annoying things that will happen and will probably be the first grievance you will experience.
Why do they stare?
For a litany of reasons. Whether it be because you look different, you sound different, you walk different. The reasoning doesn't really matter. The thing that matters is what the staring signifies, what will they do and how you could and should react.
Being a person who’s lived majority of their adult life in New York City, staring could result in being threatened or danger. In Italy, staring is typically connected with curiosity.
Although annoying, my suggestion would be to just ignore them. I have brought it to their attention that I see them, waving at times or greeting them. They are typically flustered or embarrassed.
There are times where you will encounter a person who is just rude and will almost challenge you when they stare, you will acknowledge them and they will keep staring. Knowing you’re uncomfortable. The problems are not worth having, I would suggest you ignore them and if you’re out in public and it persist, find a police officer. That will stop them.
(WC) Restrooms 🚾🚽
Every toilet flushes!
Italian PUBLIC restrooms come in all shapes and sizes, as do they in the USA. The features and purposes are the same, the presentation and way of operating can at times be different.
Whether you are in a train station, restaurant or cafe, the first thing you should know about toilets in Italy ; Is that they all flush! So if you find yourself in a restroom and are not sure where the flush is, keep looking!
The flush might be on the sidewall, on the floor or behind the toilet. But it will be there.
The next few things you should know about Italian public restrooms are easy;
1. There will always be an emergency pull cord, this is something you will also see your hotel rooms. If you find yourself in an emergency in the restroom, pull the cord and help will arrive. This is for EMERGENCIES, no toilet paper is not an emergency. I would suggest you check for restroom supplies before using it.
2. If you are using a restroom in a train station, near a monument or piazza, you will probably have to pay. It won't be much, but there's a good chance there will be a €1 - €1.50 charge. There will be an automatic machine that allows entry or a person guarding the door. I would suggest you bring or buy a coin purse for you travels,
3. The toilet might not have a toilet seat. Most women are use to squatting, but if you're an older or disabled person this can be an issue. Use the restroom before leaving your hotel/ BNB.
Restaurant service 🍽️🍝
You will wait a little longer and thats ok,
The restaurant staffing in Italy is not what is it in the states, nor is the urgency to greet a table and take the order.
Many restaurants are family owned, so the bigger the family the more staff the restaurant will have, or they have staff who they pay a full salary to. This means that tipping is not necessary, although a small tip is alway appreciated, and that there will be less staff waiting around for guest.
Also, something else to keep in mind; because Italian restaurant staff makes an hourly wage, thats not reflective of them getting tips, they are not as cheerful as the staff is in the states. They do not jump through hoops and bow down to your every request, because they will make the same amount of money no matter what.
So keep that in mind when being approached by the staff. Yes, rude and disrespectful staff does exist, but keep in mind there are certain things that are different. Keep an eye on the amount of employees, how busy the restaurant is and if you notice you are being treated poorly, speak to someone or pay for what you've eaten and leave.
Few more things to keep in mind;
1. Tap water is not a thing thats offered, it's bottled water and they will ask if you want sparkling ( frizzante) or still ( naturale). Some places will also ask if you want it chilled or room temperature (ambiente). Water is affordable, do not not get water because you do not want to pay €1 a bottle. Stay hydrated.
2. Coperto is basically a service charge per person, you will see it on the check at some restaurants. It is completely normal, but not every restaurant charges it.
3. When having an aperitivo, cocktail during certain hours, snacks are typically provided and typically free. The free snacks can range from chips and nuts to small tea sandwiches. Some places also provide a buffet for a small price.
4. Typically, Italian waiters will not "drop" the bill/check. You will have to request it. Thanks to the pay structure, guests aren’t rushed from the table the way they would be in the states. Guest are given the opportunity to enjoy their meal, have multiple courses and overall have a more enjoyable dining experience.
When you are ready to end your experience, simply ask for the check (conto). Sometimes you will pay at the table, but it is also common to pay at the cashier near the hostess stand.
5. It is also common to have a waiter bring the check so you pay as you go, while you are having drinks/ aperitivo. Because of this, I would suggest you carry cash on you. That way you don't have multiple charges to your card.
Getting Cash 🏧💶
If you need cash, go to a bank.
The safest way to get cash is via a Bancomat, which is the Italian ATM that will be attached to a bank. If its being advertised as a ATM, you can get money from it but its not the safest way and is definitely not the cheapest.
Ordering from a bar ☕️💧
Organized chaos.
Ordering from an Italian bar ( coffee shop) can be overwhelming. Many people coming and going, a lot of noise, you might find yourself feeling ignored and overwhelmed.
Although it can seem like there is not a system, there most definitely is. If there is thing you need to know about ordering anything in Italy, is that the receipt is important and needed.
When you go to retrieve your bar purchase, you will need to show proof of purchase. In the states, many people will ball up or toss their receipts. DO NOT TOSS your receipts in Italy.
Along with not tossing your receipts you should also keep in mind;
1. Italians will not give you your receipt or change in your hand, they will place it on plate/dish/on the counter in front of the cashier. You can also place your money there. This is normal and happens throughout the country.
2. Once you get your receipt, you will have to now tell the barista to start to make it. The way this is done is you go over to the bar, which may or may not be crowded, and squeeze in there. It is every man for themself. Whoever gets the barista attention first is who gets their coffee first. It can be a lot, but you just have to get in there and verbalize your order.
They will want to see the receipt, will mark it so they know the order has been filled and then will go to complete your order. If you need something in you coffee, you let them know when they drop it off to you.
